Phase Out

So I took the CPA exam yesterday and everyone keeps asking me how I think I did. To be honest, I really don't know. Or maybe thats just because I don't want to jinx myself. It was tough, but like anything else, if you study you can complete it and pass it. Its not a big deal....it's just a piece of paper with your name on it saying that you've worked hard. Good job, now go work your ass off.

I've come to the conclusion about this with work. There are hard workers, and there are talented people that do not have to work hard to be successful. There are those who drop out of school and become millionaires, and those who go through school, work hard, and are successful. Of course there are those that are lazy and don't care either and those that just get things handed to them. But if you work hard at something and are determined, you will prevail. Unfortunately I do not have any brilliant ideas or had any brilliant ideas where I thought about dropping out of school. I just stuck it out and worked hard. And what do I have to prove for it? Just a piece of paper. Yeah, its good and all, but I just don't get it. For the next 25-30 years, I will spend most of my time working trying to get ahead, less time with my family when thats the most important thing to me. So what am I doing here? Is this what God really wants for us? To work hard for 62 years until the age we are eligible for social security. "Security" is what the government calls it. Yeah right. Its suppose to be a package for protection for people. It's more like, heres a little bit of money, but you still have to work to make a decent living, but if you make too much, we are going to tax your proceeds at a higher rate because we don't want you making too much money. What the hell is wrong with this place.

I'm the next act....

So tomorrow I'm taking my second to last part of the CPA exam. I hope to pass this one and get it out of the way so that I will only have one part left. Its been a crazy month with work and study. Sometimes I ask myself why I do this, and then I think about Em, who I live each and everyday for. I miss her every single day that I don't see her. I miss everything. I wish things were better. Hopefully someday they will get better. I've never felt so empty in my life after everything. I guess people can move on. It's hard to move on though. That seems to be what love does and I think I don't like that feeling. I won't give up though. I never have.
I want to show Em the world and I can't wait to do that if she ever wants to. But its a crazy world out there, and I'm scared for her. I guess thats just part of life and what we all go through each and every day. Each day the page turns and hopefully it keeps you interested. As one person said, we should all try to laugh, think, and cry all in one day because that's a heck of a day. I think lately I've been spending too much time in thought. I went to the Radiohead concert a few weeks ago and I think that day I did all three of those things. That was a good day.